I took a trip to Florida a couple weeks ago… I also took along a 66 lb. suitcase. 66 seems pretty precise right? It is. They weighed it at the airport and charged me an extra $50 because it was grotesquely overweight. If it had been flying on the plane instead of under the plane, they would have referred to it as a customer of size. I really thought I was doing everyone (and by everyone, I mean my male traveling companions) a favor by cramming all of my necessities into one bag versus several. Obviously I had no intention of being the one to cart that beast all over Florida! Aside from the overweight baggage charge, my “Excuse me sir, could you help me with my baggage?” plan worked out splendidly… until I got home…
As it turns out, it hadn’t really occurred to me that while I had strapping manly men to help me with my baggage as I gallivanted across the country, I was on my own when I got back home. As I sat at the top of the stairs cursing my 66 lb. suitcase, I began to think about a different kind of baggage… the emotional kind. It’s no fun either. I’ll admit it, I’ve got some baggage… and don’t even think about pretending you don’t have a nice set of baggage too! Emotional baggage is messy, painful, and tricky to handle. Really, the best we can do is hope that those who love us will learn to accept our baggage… and in return, we should accept theirs. When you think about it, that nice set of baggage is part of what makes you who you are and vice versa. Most of our baggage is filled up with things like heartbreak, regret, anger, distrust, jealously, secrets, and pretty much every other ugly thing you can think of to cram inside those bags and hide. Here’s where it gets tricky… you can’t let all of those ugly things from your past ruin your future. You can’t refuse to love again because you’ve had your heart broken. You can’t refuse to trust others because you’ve been betrayed. You can’t be jealous when you haven’t been given a reason. What you can do… what you MUST do… is try to accept your baggage, learn your lesson, and move on into the future fearlessly. The things inside that baggage hurt you once. Don’t let them continue to hurt you over and over again by damaging new relationships and filling you with fear and doubt. Life is scary. Life is also an incredible adventure so don’t let your baggage get in the way of allowing you to share that incredible adventure with people you love. When you trust in God’s plan it all starts to come together. Then, it is as simple as asking for help… God will take care of the baggage for you. He’s awesome like that… and He won’t charge you an overweight baggage fee which is pretty generous of Him considering how much baggage we manage to accumulate!
Fear is… scary. Duh! It’s also kind of paralyzing, confusing, and miserable. Fear is natural. As humans we all deal with it daily in all kinds of ways. We have teeny tiny fears, gianormous fears, and everything in between. Over the years I’ve discovered I’m not so great at dealing with my fears… especially the biggies. I can’t predict the future, and that makes my fears even more horrifying. I was lost a while back and came across this place:
I remember thinking at the time that if I were psychic, I wouldn’t be lost. To me, fear is kind of like being lost. You don’t have the answers, you don’t know how to get where you’re going, and it’s really frustrating. Thankfully, we don’t need a psychic from the wrong side of the tracks to guide our path, that’s God’s job. Remembering that God has it all under control is the hard part… especially when we’re dealing with fear. I’ve got a whole list of defense mechanisms that I use when I’m scared. I recognize them, but I’m not always good at putting a stop to them, stepping back from the situation, and letting God do His thing. I’m not alone in being fearful of the unknown, I’m generally just a bit more self aware than most people. I got scared today. I panicked just a smidge, I cried a lil bit, and I prayed a whole lot! None of the afore mentioned coping mechanisms did all that much to make me feel better, and deep down I know that it doesn’t matter how scared I am or how hard I try to fight back that fear by employing every defense mechanism in my vast arsenal. The reality is that God’s got a plan, and my silly little insignificant fears aren’t going to get in His way. Sometimes the answer is as simple as a deep breath and a few baby steps, and sometimes the answer isn’t simple at all. The trick is to channel your fear into some good old fashioned faith. Today‘s fear grew from something good… which sounds like an oxymoron for sure. Strangely enough, the majority of my fears are that way… mostly because I spend so much time worrying that my fear is going to create a situation where I screw up something really amazing by using all my not so clever fear fighting tactics. It’s a vicious cycle! In dwelling on today’s fears, I had an epiphany. Stop being scared of what lies ahead and simply enjoy right now. Not knowing how the story ends is terrifying for me (which seems odd given my tendency towards being a bit of a free spirit), but pushing aside those fears in favor of a little faith helps me remember that it doesn’t matter how they story ends as long as God is the one writing it...
This posting could alternately be titled, “Ashley needs a gun for self protection because she‘s to dumb to use a map!”
When I first moved to San Antonio I needed to find a doctor. Seems simple enough right? So, I just asked around and scheduled an appointment based on a recommendation. Bad idea… really bad idea. I didn’t Google the address, I didn’t ask questions, I just hopped in the car, put the address in my GPS, and took off for the doctor’s office on the day of my appointment. I live in North San Antonio. When I passed downtown and took a left it should have been a red flag. Southeast San Antonio is about as sketchy as you can possibly get. Long story short, I cried all the way back to my side of town and vowed never to set foot on the Southeast side of town again… unless it was for pizza at Big Lou’s. Anyway, after that fateful day, one would have thought I’d learned my lesson. Always ask where something is located… Google and Yelp are your best friends, use them! Unfortunately, I’m a slow learner. I spent some time on the southeast side of town again today and here’s how it happened… I have a small Groupon addiction… and by small I actually mean completely out of control. A few weeks ago I bought a Groupon to have my hair feathered. I’ve been paying a fortune to have this done in my neighborhood for months now. Generally, I check out the business on Yelp before I purchase a Groupon to make sure I’m getting a good deal. This time however, I skipped Yelp and just clicked purchase. It was such a bargain! I figured it would be located close by or in Alamo Heights… mostly because I assumed that such services would only be offered in posh salons. You know what they say about assuming. For those of you that may not know, hair feathering is this new thing where girls like me who have an irrational fear of permanent hair dye embrace our inner wild child, channel Steven Tyler, and have feather extensions added to our hair. They’re fabulous and super sassy! Plus, you don’t have to wait on it to grow out like you do with hair color… which is a real bonus for impatient people like me. So, this afternoon I set out on my little adventure. I drove, and I drove, and I drove some more. As I approached downtown, I started to get a little twitchy. What had I done?! Sure enough, Fine Feather was located on the dreaded Southeast side of town. Yikes! I considered turning around and requesting a refund from Groupon, but the lure of a head full of colorful feathers simply could not be resisted. I thought perhaps I was lost and had entered the address incorrectly in my GPS when I pulled up here:
Then, I saw the sign cleverly marking this warehouse as the location of Fine Feather. Eek! I text my location to a friend with the instructions to call 911 if she didn’t hear from me in 20 minutes. One would think that if I felt the need to take this precaution, I would have had enough sense to get the heck out of dodge. Wrong. I ventured on into the warehouse area and encountered this:
Eventually I located Fine Feather (a small room with a record player, loads of feathers, and a woman named Rocio who was quite possibly stoned). All things considered, I will give her credit for having a nice selection of feathers:
I set down on the lone stool in the tiny room and let her get to work. In just a few short minutes she was finished and I was sporting a colorful array of feathers in my long locks!
As I sped back to my side of town, I reflected on the important lessons I learned from this little adventure:
#1 - GOOGLE! YELP! MAPQUEST! (It’s a shame I didn’t learn this lesson the first time.)
#2 - Don’t judge a book by it’s cover! I got a sweet deal on some fine feathers, and while Rocio may have been stoned, she was very friendly and quite adept at the whole feathering process. So much so, that I’ll probably go back when it’s time for more feathers!
YELP! I love to share my opinions, and I have finally found people who actually want to hear them… or in this case read them! Do you Yelp? If not, what are you waiting for?! All the cool kids are doing it! So here’s the story of how I discovered Yelp, made a fabulous new friend, and joined the ranks of the Yelp Elite Squad…
Last summer, I made a spontaneous little trip to Laguna Beach, CA with a guy I was talking to… he’s really irrelevant to the story (If only had known that then! lol), but you need context… trust me. We had a layover in Phoenix and he was driving me nuts… like full on what have I gotten myself into completely bonkers kind of nuts. Simply put, he was a whiney traveler. So in a desperate attempt to change the subject I decided to throw out a random fact about myself and see where the conversation went from there. I KNIT. Yes, I did just admit that I knit. No, I’m not 80 years old. Knitting is very chic these days and all the trendy crafty girls are doing it! He, of course, was totally appalled. As we’re sitting there arguing about my claim that it’s totally cool to knit, he smarts off and I’ve finally had enough. So, I enthusiastically announce that he’s a <insert inappropriate adjective>. I go on to tell him I’m going to knit him a scarf with previously mentioned inappropriate adjective stitched on it. All the sudden I hear a little chuckle come from the seat directly behind us. Low and behold, it’s a fellow knitter! A sassy, smart, surprisingly awesome fellow knitter! Sassy fellow knitter’s name is Krys. She proceeds to join the conversation and explains that my knitting habit is legit and perhaps he’s the one who needs to brush up on the latest trend. As it turns out, Krys is also from San Antonio and has been eavesdropping on our conversation for a while now wondering how a cool girl like me got stuck traveling with “whiney guy.” As we continue the conversation, it becomes instantly apparent that Krys and I have bonded and become fast friends. She goes on to explain that she’s headed to San Francisco for a work related meeting at her company’s corporate headquarters. As it turns out, she is the Community Manager for a company called Yelp. Yelp is a social networking site where real people can share real reviews about the places they love (or hate)… restaurants, bars, spas, etc. Krys and I exchange contact info and I promise to check out Yelp. By the end of our initial meeting I’m wishing we could send Mr. Inappropriate Adjective to San Francisco and she could come to Laguna Beach with me! We hop on the plane (which we almost missed b/c we were so busy chatting it up) and eventually part ways in Orange County. When I got back to San Antonio, I set up a Yelp account and began sharing my opinions with the world… which I’ve always done, but these people actually cared about what I had to say. Nifty right?! Krys eventually came back to San Antonio and the rest is history. I yelped and yelped and yelped some more! Before long I became a member of the Yelp Elite Squad, and a permanent resident in Krys’ circle of friends. We strike up conversations with strangers just about everywhere we go, and we love to tell the story of how we were once strangers from the same town destine to meet in the Phoenix airport. So, here’s the moral of this story… well there’s actually two…
#1: It’s okay to talk to strangers!!! Always be friendly! You never know who you’ll meet or how they’ll impact your life! Krys is like a little ray of sunshine!
#2: YELP! Do it now… like right this second now! It’s a great way to find new places to eat, drink, and be merry! Plus, they have all kinds of fun social events… and when I say fun I actually mean legendary, epic, and extravagant!
If you want to check out my profile to see what it’s all about it, click the link below:
Ashley's YELP Profile!
“After many intense brain things going on inside my head, I have decided*…” that I am Ashley York, and I over analyze things. There ya go, first step out of the way… admitting you have a problem. It’s true, I can spend hours analyzing a single sentence, statement, or look. Part of that is simply because I’m female. Yep, I said it and ladies you know it’s true so don’t act all indignant about it. It’s how we roll and that’s a fact. Honestly, I don’t know how guys survive living on the same planet with us. They say, “Hey, how’s it going?” and we analyze that until it’s all twisted around in our head resulting in something like this, “Hey, I’m not really that into you because I only said how’s it going, not how was your day.” Or, your boss says, “Could you send me a recap of your day?“ and suddenly it becomes “I don’t think you work very hard and you’re really not that smart.“ I make a pretty concentrated effort to avoid this foolish pastime of over analyzing, but obviously I don’t try hard enough. I let this nasty little habit surface in all kinds of conversations… work, personal, insignificant encounters with people I hardly know. It drives me crazy! I. NEED. AN. INTERVENTION. So, now that you know about my “little problem” just tell it like it is… say what you mean and mean what you say. Thank you in advance for understanding and making an effort to meet my needs.
The above noted quote is from the movie Madagascar. Watch it. You'll like it.
“They say that I can move the mountains and send them crashing to the sea. They say that I can walk on water if I would follow and believe with faith like a child.” ~ Like a Child, Jars of Clay
As Christians, we profess our faith in God. In reality, as humans, the whole faith thing gets a little tricky. I desire faith like a child. I’m not there yet, but it’s what I’m praying for daily. Remember when you were a little kid and you had complete faith that your parents were going to take care of you, provide for you, and love you unconditionally? Mostly it was because you didn’t know any better. At that age, no one had given you any reason to doubt those facts. Daily, the world and the people around us give us a kazillion reasons to give up on faith. As adults, we struggle to have faith in ourselves, faith in others, and most importantly faith in God. For lack of a better expression, we’re damaged goods. That damage creates fear… fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of being hurt… the list goes on and on and on… still, God expects us to have faith. We need faith. How scary would the world be without faith?! Even when you’re going through a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad time, you can still hold onto your faith to help you through because God promised to take care of us and He meant it. Knowing that, and embracing that are two very different things. Everyone struggles with faith in different ways. Personally, I have a hard time with the whole “Let go, and let God!” concept. It’s not that I don’t think He can handle it, it’s that He made me such an independent, self-assured, impatient person. You like how I just blamed my struggle with faith on God?! Geez. It’s that kind of thinking that gets us in trouble in the first place. I have a desire to live in God’s will… I just have a hard time accepting when God’s will and my will don’t match up. I’m a dreamer, and I when I see something I want, I go for it… no matter what. To say that’s a bad idea that will get you nowhere in a hurry would be an epic understatement. So, I’m working on letting go and trying to accept whatever path He has for me. It’s scary… like really really really scary. I know what I want, and I really hope that it’s what God wants too… BUT, if my will and His will don’t match up I hope that He’ll give me the courage to take whatever path He does put before me. I’m probably not going to be a happy camper about it at first, but I know that in the end His plan will be way better than anything I could have dreamed up on my own… which is pretty impressive because I can dream up some doozies. I’m at a crossroads right now where I’m having to work overtime to have faith like a child. I’m just convinced that He has something so wonderful and amazing for me on the horizon that I won’t even re-sign my lease because I’m not willing to commit to staying in San Antonio for another year. I may still be here in a year, but if another opportunity presents itself between now and then, I want to be ready to walk through that open door. Someone asked me where I was planning on going the other day. My answer, I don’t know. He looked at me like I might be crazy… and maybe I am, but at least I know that when the right thing comes along I’ll be ready for the adventure (wherever it takes me)… and hopefully, I’ll follow God’s path with faith like a child!
Click here to listen to Like A Child!
It was recently brought to my attention that I only blog when I’m avoiding other things. While there is some truth to this, it’s not so much that I’m procrastinating… really it’s more that I’m trying to get out of my own head. I’m not avoiding THINGS so much as I’m avoiding THINKING about things that I can’t control and/or don’t understand. It’s like a virtual defense mechanism! Need a break from reality? Blog! So, here I am thinking about ways to not think about what I’m thinking about. Some people journal. Some people drink. Some people cry. Some people talk about it. I blog, avoid, and deny! I may occasionally be guilty of some of the other previously mentioned coping mechanisms as well, but that's not important right now. It’s not that I’m incapable of dealing with reality, I simply understand that very little about my life is actually in my control. Sure I control the day to day stuff, but all the big picture stuff is really up to God. Sometimes it’s not even big picture stuff. Sometimes you get caught up in other people’s decisions and you can’t really change the outcome so why sit around and dwell on it all day? It prolongs all the yucky emotions and gets in the way of the warm fuzzy emotions. I'm a warm fuzzy kind of girl, and I don't like it when the yucky emotions jack with my generally chipper and delightful demeanor. Alas, I’m spending my lunch break blogging about why I blog. It’s a weird world we live in these days. Anyway, here’s what I’m thinking about (while I’m avoiding thinking about other things)… I’m going to write a blog about Lynyrd Skynyrd and the timeless life lessons shared in their songs. It’s true, I think there’s a lot of useful wisdom in their lyrics… think Simple Man. So, that’s what’s on tap for my next blog. Stay tuned!
